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One option is read/writing a shard file, as you mentioned. Another option is socket communication, where you setup a server application that gets the message, handles it and maybe send a result back to the client application.
In RevOnline there is a pair of example stacks for TCP/IP communicaztion that you can take apart and learn from.
RevOnline > User Spaces > Browse by category > Programming : TCP App 1 and 2
That could be done through 'shell' function calls to check the running processes, but this approach would be quite platform-specific.
It may be a lot easier to just write a file in a shared directory, with a preset extension, which contains the name of the application and the port on which you can contact it.
And even then, you should check the socketTimeOut options, just in case your other application closed without cleaning up its reference file. Also take a look at the 'specialFolderPath' function to determine a good spot to write those files.